Change Is Inevitable, So Embrace It!

The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we CHANGE.- C.JoyBell C,

In my final year of my bachelors degree, one of my modules was Change Management, it was basically about the need or importance for change in an organisation, how to introduce it and how to handle resistance to change among the subordinates etc.  Oh wow look at me, I never thought my bachelors degree modules would one day come in handy😂. 

I totally believe that CHANGE is in the equation of PROGRESS. In order to move to the next level there should be an element of change. Change is Inevitable! In our day-to-day lives we are experiencing changes and in most cases they are for the better.

The challenge however, is when change comes when we least expect it. It is not always the case that change happens when we want to. In actual fact it’s always the opposite but in the end we are happy about it‍. So why not Embrace it! The greatest lesson I learnt from my Change Management class was that, even if you resist change, it aint going to bow down to you comfort-zoner😂. It progresses and leaves you behind. It’s up to you to catch up.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”  – Lao Tzu

Change always brings forth positive rewards but in some cases these rewards may come in later on in  your life or worst case scenario they may not benefit you but instead benefit your family, community or even your nation. One biblical example that encourages me is when God called Abram (Genesis 12 :1-9) to leave his  home country and his people(comfort zone) , to forget about it all and move to an unknown foreign land. WHOA! This was a drastic change, but he accepted and  we all know the end results, because up to know we still speak highly of this Fella called Abraham!

PS:I am definitely against CHANGE that is manipulative and has selfish interest!❌

#GODBLESS!!

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INSECURITIES: MY YESTERYEAR STRUGGLES #3

OH MY WORD, THIS TOOK A LOT OF GUTS TO SHARE!!!

Let me start by defining insecurity,  it’s an un-confindent feeling of oneself  with regards to something. Three major causes of insecurities according to          psychologytoday.com are:

  • Insecurity Based on Recent Failure or Rejection
  • Insecurity based on Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety
  • Insecurity Driven by Perfectionism

I am a recovering  victim of Insecurity based on Lack of Confidence Because of Social Anxiety, I will explain this in a minute. 

My biggest insecurity, has been my HEIGHT!  The first thing people notice when they see me is my height.  I am like 1.78-1.80m tall. (very tall right, I know)!

I have not always been this tall😅. I was the 4th shortest girl in my class in form 1&2! Unbelievable right! Come form 3 I shot up like a weed and became like the tallest girl in my stream. What an achievement right! #goals. Little did I know this would become an insecurity.  It all began with cute comments like “oh wow Rudo, you have grown so tall,” and all I could say was its puberty guys and would brush it off! This was the stage when it was all fun and jokes  thinking well it will eventually stop and  I would move on with my life. 

Unfortunately that did not happen in my case.  From the age of 15, my height became an insecurity,  a God-given feature that i never asked for became an insecurity. People talked about it like it was a problem, like i was suffering from being tall and that eventually i would die of being tall. I felt like i was the tallest person in the whole world.

My worst experience was during high school days and to make matters even worse i was at a boarding school. A day would not go by without people (both teachers and students) talking or making fun of my height. I got offended everyday, i would get angry but could not fight back. Statements like; you have a guys`s height, uri rangwani, you should stay away from heels, will you ever get a guy taller than you, eish you are too tall! was practically my daily bread. I would cry myself to sleep, literally made prayers to God like, why did you make me tall?  I was pushed to an extent that I hated myself, ashamed of my height, I blamed God and my parents! (crying right now). 😭😭😭

During vacation, you would think finally I get  to breathe!  Hell no, relatives, friends and the general public  all had something to say about my height. One comment i will never forget was from this business colleague, who had this to say: “why are you tall? women should not be taller than men?”  OMW😳😳😳, how do you answer such a questions!!

It has not been an easy road, like I said I am recovering and it is a process because this started when i was still too young and that is why it`s been a struggle.  My parents, my true friends and  true relatives have helped me fight this insecurity. Above all , i found my true identity in CHRIST JESUS cause he fearfully and wonderfully made me in his image and saw it fit for me to have such a beautiful height😍😍😍

From the moment I began appreciating my height and focusing on the positive which was a few years ago.I have had people walk up to me, just to say that they like my height and would kill for such a height😊😊😊. Now I own my height like an NBA pro- basketballer or like Vogue Model. [side note, if you have any connections with Vogue magazine, hook your girl up 😉].  I wear pumps for comfort-sake otherwise I have quite a pair of heels and my birthday is coming up ( 21/07) just bless me with a pair of heels😜😜😜 

Whoaa,  that was hard yall!!!!😅😅😅. I know to someone, it might not be an insecurity but hey  that is why we are different honey boo boo. May this little ka story of mine help you conquer your own insecurity.

#GODBLESS

 

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN: COMMUNICATION SKILLS 2.0

They say life is full of surprises but try getting to know yourself and you will be surprised even more. I am constantly in a process of self introspection/self-examination and in all my 25 years of living i have realized that i am a bad conversationalist. Do you ever walk away from a conversation no matter how good it was and you ask yourself what in the world was i talking about, did i really have to say that? That`s  so me most of the time. Now you understand my dislike for conversations, but should i run away HELL NO, i got to fix this messed part of myself. (GET TO KNOW THY SELF).

Up until last week Friday whilst reading a book titled HOW TO BE A BAWSE – A GUIDE TO CONQUERING LIFE by Lilly Singh. PAUSE! Let me tell about Lilly a.k.a Superwoman, she  is a famous, successful and rich  YouTuber who is such an inspiration to me, love her work, she is funny, super crazy, she loves Dwayne The Rock Johnson just like me and i know for sure that we are long lost BFFs  separated by the oceans!!(see insert 1).

 

( Insert 1: same hairdo except that`s her hair and i have some hair extensions attached to my head LOLS)

OK i am done fan-girling, back to my story. So i had an -aha-moment when I read a statement in her book that said, ”Bawses don`t just say things they communicate with a purpose” In simpler terms this means every time you open your mouth to speak don`t be reckless with your words; SAY WHAT YOU MEAN! One example  she mentioned that hit home was the abuse of statements like , i miss you, i love you, let`s hang out, i like you, i am happy for you, I am good etc  that we say to people as we converse. Do we really miss that person or its all a LIE. This made more sense cause, sometimes i tell people i miss them when i actually don`t and at the end of the day i am haunted with this white lie (WORD-UP previous post reference😜) and the other person thinks the world of me because i said i miss them/ i like them.  Being polite and nice in a conversation does not mean anything if you don`t MEAN it. I can hear someone asking, ” Ayo Nikki what if someone says they miss me and i don`t.” its simple the least you can do is to say thank you with genuine smile on your face!  

Another example just came to mind, sometime last year i was at a family gathering and my cousin sister asked me that i take her out for pizza. I am sure you can already guess my  response, i said yes (just to get the convo going) but deep down i did not mean it. Just to prove to you that i was reckless with my words, 2 months ago she reminded me of the PIZZA  date and guess what  i was embarrassed and i apologized for a promise i did not mean. If i had just been honest with her that i was on a tight budget and couldn’t  afford, i would not  be here apologizing.

I have only mentioned the simple harmless conversation that we say, what about those very important convos we have with our boss, parents, employees, spouse, children, friends, lover are they all lies? Just because we saw no harm Or worst case scenario you missed that opportunity because you you said you did not want it and yet you wanted it deep down. The world would be a better place if we would all just speak our mind but in politeness and with a smile on our face.

I know straight talk is too much, but it saves you a lot of time and energy, i say let people hate you as long as you have yourself a clean conscience. There is more freedom when you say what is really on your mind , just make sure you say it in a nice way!

#GODBLESS

I LIED🤥(confessions of a repentant liar)

To fit in, I Lied!😜

To get what I wanted, I Lied!😜

To get out of trouble, I Lied!😜

In order to be liked, I Lied!😜

In order to get those views,

 On my Blog  and YouTube channel, I Lied!😜

To gain that success, I Lied!😜

To get that deal, I Lied😜

To get into that releationship, I Lied,😜

To get that following and those,

 Heart shaped likes on Social Media, I Lied,😜

To look perfect,

 And holier than thou😇, I Lied,

 

“It’s just a white lie,”😉

My seared conscience convinced me,

That i was doing nothing wrong!

Everything was perfect,👌

No-one was being hurt,

I was in a happy place,😃

Life was the bomb.com!💣

“No-one else will know except you”😉

Again my conscience whispered,

 Those sweet 🍬words into my ear,

Now I was over-confident with myself!

 

BUT LIFE! 😔

 Life has a way of teaching us some lessons the hard way,😔

What goes around always comes back around,🔄

Karma and all his cousins came after me,

Banging real hard on my front door,😰

My house was literally about to go down in shambles,😨

My foundation based on lies was not strong enough,

 To withstand the TRUTH that had hit me,

My white, pink, green, red, black lies,

 Were too weak to help me out of this one,😫

So BOOM my house went down with me!😭

 

In the rubble I lay ALONE,😢

I had hit rock bottom,🤕

I had lost so much,😟

Family👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, Friends, Businesses,

Relationships you name it,💏

Instant Gratification (I.G) had ruined me,

How do I get up now?🤔

Do I take the easy road or do I take the high road?,🤔

I.G was quick to say “LIE again and all this will be over in a gify!”😉

“HELL NO”❌

Finally I had the guts to speak up,🗣

 And face my greatest weakness,

 

With all the little strength💪 I had left in me,

 I SHOUTED,🗣

”FATHER FORGIVE ME, FOR I HAVE LIED”🙏🏾

Surely the TRUTH will set free,

I finally learnt that a lie can only run,

Until its taken over by the Truth,

Though still in pain,

I knew I had made the right decision!

I was FREE at last,💃🕺

These lies had haunted me,

I thought I was alright,

 But I was merely a ticking bomb waiting to explode!

SO NOW I TELL THE TRUTH OR I SHUT THE HELL UP IF I DON`T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY!🤐

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OWN YOUR CHOICES!

Can I just put it out there, i am  the worst person to argue with.  I am 100% bad at it. In my mind i have very good points but putting them across verbally is just hard for me guys. #sniff-sniff. To be honest i communicate better when i  write. Guess i might need to walk around with a pen and paper, in case i walk into an argument, SILLY right!! Actually a recent argument is clearly the reason  for this post. Don`t worry i am not here to vent out my emotions. The issue is, just because i am not doing the talking during an argument or misunderstanding , i am busy listening and i listen real hard. I am taking each word and dissecting it, to get a real meaning out of it. In simple terms you can call me a very active listener. Oh gosh I am so off-topic… i will just get straight to the point now!!!

‘God gave us the ability to make our own choices, good or bad. but also gave us the guide to navigate the storms, but its your choice to take the guide and use it or have your ship sink in storms – whisper”

At the age of 18, we say a person has become an adult and is finally entitled to his or her own choices/decisions. This is the same with the gift of free-will which God has given us. It is   the ability to make our own independent choices without any coercion from other people even God. Choices can be right or wrong and thank God there is detector within us called  CONSCIENCE (your guide), this detector always tells us whether what we are doing is wrong or right and its up to us to listen to it or not.

Owning Your  Choices #1: YOU can never blame/praise anyone for your bad/good choices, cause at the end of the day you make the final call and experience the result.

“never blame another person for your personal choices, you are still the one who must live out the consequences of your choices – Caroline  Myss” 

Owning Your  Choices #2: Be confident with your decisions. I will say this, a typical fail in owning your decisions is when you always see the need to justify or rather explain further your life choices just to make people approve of them. No don`t do that!

“Make and be confident in your own decisions. Stop looking for people’s approval for everything –  Mama Zara.” 

Owning Your  Choices #3:  Don​t allow people`s opinions to alter  your choices. Everyday we are making life choices both short and long-term, sometimes our choices are constantly changing because we allow other people’s `s opinions to alter them.  Please know that these opinions will always be there, but  YOU DON`T NEED TO AGREE to THEM, rather take the good and leave out the bad.

“Don`​t base your decisions on the advice of those who don`t have to deal with the end  results – The Quotepedia.”

   

You and I gotta learn to OWN OUR CHOICES!

#GODBLESS

the crazy bucket list…

 

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” is a proverb. It means that without time off from work, a person becomes both bored and boring.                                                          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proverb)

….that is why you and I need a crazy, cool and fun bucket list! if you read my recent post, then  you gotta make time for it . So the aim of this post is to hopefully awake the crazy side of you, so that you live this God-given life with no ragrets ( regrets!). A bucket list is simply made up of  things you would only do once in your lifetime,if you are lucky it can turn out to be your lifestyle. It can be during your single or married life. They are things you want to do not because they were done by a someone else, but because you just want to experience them. Let what others have done be a motivational yardstick only. Craziness can only be defined by you, what makes you really tick, that`s it,  do not think to hard! I am sure you will understand better when you  read mine. On the internet you will find a lot of bucket list suggestions, the one that stood out more for me is 27 Things to do before You settle down  >>https://youtu.be/-4fdSBZJ3zA Don`t worry even after you have settled down  you can still do them, remember there is a time for everything.                                       bucketlistt.jpg

Here goes my list 🙂

  • Travel, travel, travel the world – only God knows how much travelling means to me, I am so ready for the jet-legs/ getting lost in Kathmandu Nepal/ trying out different cuisines/ attend a music festival in New Orleans and making new friends across the globe ( a french male best friend 😉 to be exact) hahaha!
  • Meet, have lunch and take selfies with  Dwayne Johnson (the rock), Trevor Noah and Kevin Hart. (crazy I know)!
  • Road trip with friends with me driving of course haha!
  • Go to a Pentantonix concert!
  • Feature in a Vogue Magazine –  I think I am now getting ahead of my self hahaha!
  • Attend  Jimmy Kimmel and Steve Harvey shows!
  • Feature in a dance video  for example >> https://youtu.be/uENMj65B4Fg
  • Become a backing vocalist for Tye Tribbett –  i love his music and he has the coolest ensemble ever!
  • Get a part-time job at Marvel Studios Company – now I am being too ambitious hahaha, let a girl dream big please!
  • Get on the scariest rides in the world – I love adventure! 

Gosh, this list is kinda insane, but if I can just tick off half of what i have written above then i am good! You only live once, so make the most out of it! #dontbeboring!

I would love to know whats on your bucket list, use the comment box below 🙂 😉

#beblessed!

 

 

What`s Your Time Now?

IMG-20180116-WA0024All humanity and everything else under the sun evolves around TIME. It’s either we are racing with it or  lagging behind it and in some cases we are trying to be ahead of it. Since creation up to date one of  the constant factors of life that has always been around is TIME, it something we deal with everyday. My Merriam-Webster dictionary defines TIME as the measured or measurable period during which an action, process or condition exists or continues. It is measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, month, years, decades etc. A lot of man and woman have done their studies on time  scientifically and psychologically  and have made several conclusions as a result of their experiences. We have learnt or heard about these experiences from the statements they have said. I will mention below some of my favourites:

  • “Lost time is never found” –  Benjamin Franklin
  • ”Time is free, but it is priceless, you can’t own it , but you can use it. you can’t keep it but you can spent  it, once you have lost it you can never get it back” – Harvey Mackay
  • “Your time is limited, so don t waste it living someone else`s life”- Steve Jobs
  • The bad news is time flies. The good news is you are the Pilot – Michael Altshuler

This is all an indication of what time taught them in so many different ways. They had an understanding of what it was and chose to live their lives according to it. Nowadays we have lost it, we are spending time on the wrong things, we are waiting on time to bring us things that we should have had already and lastly we want to grab onto things or get involved in stuff  at the wrong time (the thirst to be ahead of time). It’s so crucial to know and understand your TIME cause its different to that of the person next to you. We may be living in the same hour or month but we are all on different time zones as individuals. So I pose this question to you today, do you know what time it is in your life  now, are you at the right place doing the right thing at the right TIME?

I will conclude with my all time favourite quote, that has made me understand my TIME, King Solomon`s: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is a season (a time appointed) for everything and a time for every delight and event or purpose under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die;A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.A time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. A time to search and a time to give up as lost;A time to keep and a time to throw away.A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to keep silent and a time to speak.A time to love and a time to hate;A time for war and a time for peace.

Be inspired! Be Blessed!